at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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