can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
