as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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