I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
