So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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