This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
