Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
