just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
