So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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