try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
