I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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