I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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