Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Jerry, you need to find god
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
