You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
