Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you didnt know i had herpes?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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