xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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