Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
