dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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