I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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