Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize