we're blogging at a bar
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
