Non-Jews are for practice
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
