I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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