I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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