I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
