I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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