im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
