I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
