I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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