Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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