Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
