Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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