Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
