Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
