She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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