But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He felt like a one man threesome
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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