Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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