Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
