Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
