Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
