So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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