So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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