Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
