I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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