just come out here and I will go home with you...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
