# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, beer. Big fan.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
