Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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