WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
