Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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