Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
