after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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