I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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