Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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