JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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