My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize