Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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