Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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