Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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