I feel like abortions should bother me more
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
