You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
